meh...

Epiphanies of the night.
flare and burst to life.
like yesterday's night.
lighting did indeed strike.
in the hearts of just one.
for it did on day one.
a suitor so bold.
to search and seek out.
a conquistador you are.
patient and sound.
when found,
conversations went on.
far into the early morn.
all for a petty hearted girl.
intentions meant for kind.
forgive me, for i feared mine.
thoughts and thinkings...
held back,
pushed aside....
for kindly i think of all sin.
fears of over stepping,
unknown and charted boundaries.
dear me...
a push over i am.
turn and run.
i shall.
yet brought round, once again.
obvious is oblivious.
for it is a known fact.
this time i shan't hold back.
just know this...
there's an underlying meaning.
for every moment and time.
you've held me.

Raw

You ignorant fiend.
Hush your lips.
I need not hear.
Your petty woes me.
You speak with disregard.
Inflicting others.
Causing grief.
The damage you have done.
Past and second chance, undone.
You’ve lost my respect.
Come grovel at my feet.
When confronted.
To arms to arms…
Battles wage.
You’re backed in a corner…
Defenses crumbling down.
Funny how you now realize
How fucked you really are.
Look at you now.
drowning in your own disgust.
Play the part.
A victim you think you are.
Darling dear…
You haven’t yet seen my rage.
Nor have you witnessed my hate.
I do not forgive, or forget.
Emotions so raw.
You’ll wither away.

faces and hearts.

jabber jabber. yak yak
laughs float through grease clouded air.
a table with chairs.
occupied by acquainted faces.
a comforting company.
to share and give care.
dinner is served, on trays and sassy air.
a tease and a taunt.
chair pulls out.
a window seat watch.
unfiltered words...
waft over to a girl.
striking a chord.
denial and attempts,
of pushing back.
now surface and overwhelm.
hearts weighted with earthly woes.
break now.
let your tears fall.
hurry, amass.
run,
walk.
escape this crowd.
hastily now,
before someone glimpses
a distorted image.
defined as your true self.
interpersonal hurt...
fears of a coming now.
course of direction,
skewed.
undetermined.
peddle peddle.
breathe deep.
passing street lights.
rounding corners.
late night wanderers.
lungs burn and body groans.
pleading for a pause.
thoughts too wild for a moment's stop.
unintended courage...
leads to darken back roads
sketchy alleys with noises...
back into the light.
dorm room delight.
faces, common and known.
hurry now...
through elevator doors.
grab a towel.
shower off.
music to relax.
ignore squealing facets.
doors open, sea of faces.
well holy fucking shit.
tears emerging once again.
too proud to cry out.
steady yourself. stay strong.
wear the mask...
don't dare breakdown.
say its alright.
hope they just go.
leave me in peace.
there's worry and concern.
adorning perplex faces.
you know they care...
honestly honey dears...
its all internal.
forgive me for my lack.
of communicating and such.
i've been breaking.
my heart's been aching.
one by one...
you search, seek out
confess to clear air.
there's hurt in their eyes.
and guilt in your heart.
another weighing scar.
you never meant for.
they stay...
people gather in.
you wander again.
to watch for lighting's rain.
sing apologies....
rarely do i.
unless sincerity is a must.
comfort in the physical facts.
there's hope in the hearts.
of honest friendship.

classroom daydream

Shutters and shades.
filtered light...
cascade.
shadows sways
obtuse is their game.
across plastic yellowing curtains.
muddled talk...
a buzz and a hum.
sound and drone on...

Bemis.

There's a fire and a flame.
a boldness that adorns his name.
a proud egotistic display.
prominent in every way.
words spoken...
brutal honesty.
blunt and corrupt.
tough love is a must.
gained or found out.
Stand strong,
worldly pushes
cause for grief and gritting teeth.
alarms ring and sound out.
this is the now...
stand strong.

Honey Dear.

Dreams reflect,
surreal wishing if indeed that.
an urge for a yearn.
silent now,
speak not with words.
Freudian slips come clean.
images suggest.
feelings deeper then surface
blush blush.
a perfect content.
a pair so twin like, exact
complimenting interests.
honey dears, just say yes.

Pray, be it no more

Liberating strength.
Fury, bold and irate.
Respect worthy; gained…
Eyes set ablaze.
Driven by an inner folly.
Fueled by tied loose ends…
Bullshit answers in roundabout ways.
A longtime coming.
About damn time dearest honey...
Years spent idly wasted.
Unhappiness, a commonness.
You lost all sight...
fell prey to a void hollowness.
Blindly holding on...
An invisible nothingness.
leaving you cold and alone.
Self-worth gone wrong.
Little regarded, for shame lines the heart.
Reverence held no sway.
Everything you could have had.
Easily to attain…
within a reach’s obtain...
For people you hold, command...
at pawn piece disposal.
An innate power,
Too modest to enact.
Yet, dare none see fit.
Eyes that seduce,
Dark... unyielding.
For such severity…
Leaves suitors yearning.
feelings inapt of thought.
Body communicating its words.
honey dear, just pause stop end.
For a second’s worth more.
Enticing as it is tantalizing.
A forbidden fruit.
Hindsight brings insight.
A known confidence…
Once confined and maintained.
Now flaring to life…
A charisma meant for fame.
Beauty emerges.
A captive embrace.
Changing and shaping.
Everything in sight.
Funny how destined ways…
Surface, take pace.
Context edged, displayed...
Mirrored through reflection’s circumstance
A humanness.
Flaming from the deep.
Hidden, go seek.
For self-esteem was a critique.
Strewing character
Hindering elite
A life put on hold.
Pray, be it no more.
A courage to confess.
Inner emotions…
Settlement if indeed that.
Contentment must be first from second’s last.
Savor a glorious moment.
Hearts glow and give way.

Horse Shit

An irking irritation.
annoyance rising
a tempered madness.
Ironic is its comedy.
Charming, no one’s laughing.
Peeved far beyond belief.
Pulsing exasperation.
Ragged contained breathing.
Rages like waves.
Careful now…
Inner Poseidon’s cause grief.
I’d rather be impaled.
Upon a hot burning poker
Then witness and deal.
With horse shit such as this….

Kindred

Earthly souls reflect
Through sin and human flesh.
Unexpected kindness.
A genuine rarity
For scarcity is its best.
A pleading faith is born…
In fear of a last remaining hope.
Some treasure its depth.
Others rob its innocence.
Humanity strays…
Moral virtues fade to gray.
Disappointment blooms.
In the hearts of hopeless names.
Guarded are they…
For hurt lingers and stays.
See how they carry themselves.
Too proud to let fall.
Eyes a hue darker than most.
A past and history so unknown.
Searching, seeking hidden ploys.
Feel the underlying panic in its gaze.
Motives observed…
Analyzed word for word.
Unearthing a pleasant surprise.
Serendipity is your find.

Patient Content

Sudden turn of events…
Leave you questioning honest intent.
Funny how such occurrence.
Surface and bring to light.
A present now and taint a later then.
Ambiguous is your sureness.
For its all you have left.
Nothing to gain, yet everything to lose.
A pawn to a game…
No one dare play.
Let fall the rest.
Fate know not its next.
Decide your own path.
Leave out the rest.
Straighten up young lass.
There’s a rhyme to your reason.
And a rhythm in each step.
Undefined is your indefinite drive.
Unclear waters…
Hold a mystery to its grandeur.
A fearsome plunge,
For one of a belittling bold.
Surface or sink.
The time has come to an end.
Farewell to easy going flows.
Direct your sails and go.
Beyond unseen shores.
A promised later then.
Awaits a patient content.

Enigma

Emotions explode
Cold and bold.
An inner rage,
Unleashed from its cage.
Pent up hate, corroding at its gates
Reality states.
A present time and place.
Reasons of why and foreboding shame.
Come all too late.
moments cross tainted thoughts
This isn’t what I want.
Just get off.
For fucks sake.
This happens each and every time
Touches, foreign and strange
Poisoned with lips wandering plains.
Up and leave.
Thanks for respecting this plea.
Smile, say no its okay.
Enigma at its  best.
Doors open to a close.
Hurried fingers…
Lock
Click
Twist
Shut.
Safety from exterior spheres.
Rip, peel off.
Shower and reflect.
As screams fall into silence.
Too proud to cry out…
Soak and stand.
scolding liquids pound against your back.
Burn and cleanse.
Rinse unwanted scents.
Rest now.
For your soul has aged a millennium.

Gray Weather

Graying weather,
A brewing madness
Emotions surface.
A hushed silence.
Chilled warm rain.
A tear drop that stains.
Storming clouds rustle about.
Round and round I hear thunder sound.
Ponder me this,
For obvious is oblivious.
Love was never meant for bliss.
Ancient as it is old, a power not meant for souls...
Reverberating its echo, it calls out.
Elements flash and dance across.
Animated skies, there’s a glow and a pause.
take cover creation below.
For Mother Nature pardons no,
Subdued no more...
She smiles a grin.
let loose her ferverous ferocity.
She paints the world with hues so bold.
Her charisma harmonizes to my soul.
Softly now, look upon.
A blurred surreal world.
Maybe then you shall see.
A truer version of me.

A good friend of mine's work.

Heartache

A moment

A memory…

A once was…

A now coming…

A sudden passing.

A fading reverie.

Shifting and churning.

Like gears grinding.

Persistent as it is protestant...

For there is haste in its urgency.

Present events, call for tongues held.

Never a right time or place.

Too much at stake.

Only so much one can take.

Respect and consideration for another being’s sake.

Hush hush are my lips.

Hearts beat at a tempered pace.

For this is more, than a simple friendship.

Could there be a deeper meaning to all of this?

Perhaps this is fate’s way…

Merging miserable souls together as mates.

Is it a farce or a facile…. ?

Can we afford to let fall…

Blindly step out.

Tis but a leap of faith.

Feelings within, convey honest truth and intensions.

For innate coherency implies subtle clarity.

The prospect of a possible romance…

Is just a lustful collaboration for heartache. 

Homeless Has A Name.

What happened in her life.

To make her slip on by.

Or was it a surprise.

My how life seems to decide.

A tangle of curls.

Matted and strewn.

flesh clinging to bone.

face hollowed and thin.

she hasn't eaten for days.

her strength dwindles away.

her pride.

bruised and shamed.

she turns the other way.

A smell, bittersweet.

features adorn with inner grace.

For there’s still beauty within.

though hidden so deep.

a suitcase she keeps.

Reflections reflect.

A present now,

demons from her past...

A pack upon her back.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Just all she has.

Petty Hearts - For Cam

After 15-19 hours of chuck nonsense.... here's a rough demo.

All for you Cam. <3